Now now dear child...

Today sitting in the shade with some of the children the girls start modeling around me.  We have an informal modeling show and then one of the children asks me to stand up and sing a song. I stand up tall! Open my chest up. Breathe and um... well I forget the words of the song we learnt in choir (Burn by Ellie Goulding). Then the next song that comes to mind is "He has the whole world in His hands... ". 

I write this in weakness not in strength...

My first term as a teacher is ending and so is my physical strength...

Losing myself in the process of starting what I deem a calling: teaching.  Entering into it through a veil of tears merely watching my selfish ambitions cascade down my cheeks.  Losing myself and yet finding more of Him.  Let me divulge ...  everytime I see a childs hatred and anger dissolve into warmth and forgiveness my hearts ambitions melt away within seconds.  I see the face of God in the mornings as I pull up to school and my children run across the road to help me carry my bags, when a "defiant" boy comes to hold my hand... When a child talks daily and constantly about their worship experience... When a child just wants to linger in my presence...   

As I have given up my cause for a greater one I plain and simply see the greater cause.  I am supposed to be the teacher and yet I am so the learner.  I am supposed to be an adult and get I find myself a child... passionately pursuing knowlege, desiring to play and explore the world and eager to love and embrace all around me.  This is the end but its so the begining.  This is me taking up responsibility as an adult to be childlike (thats what my Father desires surely?).