striving until the settling

what is all this striving for? we try be thinner and more beautiful but where is the fulfilment in it? when do we stop and enjoy where we are right now? appreciate our beauty for what it is and who we are. Do we really believe that "who I am is enough"?

This year I felt the immense disapointment of spending weeks and months preparing for my designs to be "perfect" for the fashion show. They were on and off the ramp within a minute and it seemed that all my effort went unnoticed. I was disapointed that people weren't lining up afterward to ask me about my designs, my inspiration, my blood, sweat and tears and to get my autograph. It came as quite a surprise when none of the above list came to be. Contrastingly I was welcomed by my car that didn't want to start. In fact it's alarm went off. I didn't even know that my car had an alarm. Maybe that alarm should have rather gone off in December when it was stolen. None the less what is all the hype for?

We place so much attention and focus on being noticed by judges and people. Judges and people who's opinion changes along with their mood. Unfortunately in the fashion industry is very subjective.

In my opinion it is all about the heart. Your heart. Expressing your heart in a way only you can. It is about being creative. Being you. No one can steal that from you. No one can copy your heart without being fake.

After feeling extremely disapointed after my fashion show, (to confess the tears were on the verge of spilling) i had this still small voice in my head that was saying " I am happy with my designs and nothing else matters". This brought much settling to the storm within my heart.

The second point that I have taken from my disappointment is that I do not work for people, I work for God and He is easily pleased when I work from the wellspring of love for Him.

I dont doubt that the fashion industry is going to throw many more obstacles and temptations my way but I look at my fashion future career stable in my identity in Jesus and His love for me!