they say woman are confusing...and men, not?

They say woman are confusing and then are men not? I think not.  I'm not confused about it.  

A friend and I have been reading articles of the 'pull back' that men do when the relationship is getting too personal, involved, intimate or deep.  Apparently when things get too deep men feel like they are losing part of themselves and pull away.  They feel like they are losing  their independence.  So that's the why part but the how part is where it becomes difficult for us girls.  

Naturally us girls want to talk about problems.  This is our way of working through them.   Whereas if you read the book, "Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus" you will see that men don't deal with problems like this.  Naturally they go into the 'cave' where they can deal with the problem, alone.  

"Great!" I say *sarcasm enter* "he is withdrawing cos his love for me is growing".  That sounds like an oxymoron to me.  Sounds confusing.  These articles then go on to encourage women to give him the space he needs.  Men need to understand that this is unnatural for us ladies and us ladies need to understand that it is unnatural for men to talk talk talk.  Hear me out on this, this is something that fascinates me and what the books have told me but are these really just an excuse that he is just not that into you?
Girls perspective: If a guy withdraws he is not interested.  If he doesn't text, he isn't thinking about you.  If he doesn't call, you are not on his mind.  If he withdraws it is because he wants to and something else is more important. 

Another thing that confuses me about men is their fear to pursue.  While chatting to my black African friend she was telling me about how black men really know how to pursue a girl.  They will go up to her and tell her that she is beautiful.  They will bug and insist and pursue until no end.  I've noticed with white boys it is the exact opposite.  If he likes you it is as if you don't exist.  how delightful *sarcasm has entered for the long run.  

Girls perspective: If a guy wants a girl in his life he will pursue.  He will let go of his fears (including that of rejection) which I see and hear so many white guys possess. 

Is the notion of pulling back and 'I'm too afraid to commit' an excuse for plain and simply I'm just not into you? 

Love,
Confused Sarah**