I am a dreamer, are you?

I am a dreamer. Yes I am. Gone are the days of denying it. I believe there is good in everyone and I believe for the best. I am not a realist. My default setting is to believe for the best. When life strikes me with a break up or a divorce, I believe that its not real and that all will soon resume as normal. When my body aches, I ignore it. Yes, I have a powerful imagination to believe whatever I want. I imagine away my pain.

No, it doesn't always work but I live most of my time in my head, in fantasy world, in an imaginary place. This way of living is easy for me. I believe that everyone is looking out for each others good.

Obviously life is not all peachy - even if I imagine it to be so. God woke me up to the truth in 2008 which states that 'in this life you will have trouble, but do not worry I have overcome the world'. I think He thought I ought to know this while my dad had been replaced at work as he had taken off for sick leave and to prepare me for the years to come.

Truth is that even though I have been through the reality of life I still hold my dreamer head high in the clouds. However there are some things that start my internal alarm bells going. What I mean by this is that there are memories that alarm me that things/circumstances/situations could go wrong from here on. I have listed a few below:

Relationships:

When I see potential in a guy to be more than a friend:

* He asks me to a movie and coffee and I get out my wallet and I pay for the bill, then an alarm bell goes off that he is not investing in me or the potential relationship.

* he doesn't sms or call me before I get the chance to contant him- my ex put less and less time into contacting me when he wasn't in love with me anymore. Therefore I now assume that if he doesn't call he doesn't care.

* When I have to invite a guy on facebook first. This shows me that he was not too concerned about not being in communication.

* When I have to initiate conversation with a guy via anything

* People who only talk about their boyfriends (as reality has shown itself if they are willing to spend your time with them talking about their bf they will in future drop you for their bf's).


General:

* travelling at night out of town for me has become a fear (although I have not been in a car accident my family has and that is too close for my own comfort).

* Over talkative people ( I tend to be weary of people who talk too much because as reality has shown me that could have a tendancy to enjoy their own opinion too much).

* When I sleep in a foreign place ( I had a bad experience early on in life).

Whilst these situations do cause alarm bells to go off, I do still hope for the best and even though these things limit me to some extent, I do hope that they will not affect the quality of life, just deepen it.

Think about what makes your internal alarm bell ring and what makes your blood boil. If you know yourself well, you can educate others how to treat you.

p.s this post was inspired by a friend , Cayly's, recent blog post. If you'd like to give it a read it is caylysdandeliondays.wordpress.com

Much love,
SCG